"No one will miss me", "I’m better off dead"

after-crisis:

When I worked at a non-profit that handled suicide prevention, I had access to the donation records. Each month, a specific man donated 15$ to our organization. It was like clockwork.. same day, same man, he had been doing this for over 4 years. It always seemed odd to me but I never questioned it… until I saw a note attached one month. "For Noah- Dad"

his donation was once his child’s allowance.

I can promise you, they would miss you for the rest of their lives.

(via anxietysurvivor)

gothiccharmschool:

losertakesall:

ilikeprettyclothes:

fromcarouseltohair:

allyssumdays:

Everyone has rolls when they bend over. Everyone. Lets just get this out of the way right off the bat. In the last few months, I’ve had over 30 women ranging from rail thin to extra large naked in my bed and I would routinely ask them to hug their knees. You won’t believe this… ALL OF THEM HAD TUMMY ROLLS. Not one was exempt. Even my super fabulous professional model 6 foot tall and some amazing Katie had rolls. The stomach pictures turned into some of my favorite images from the project… so quit thinking they’re bad, and try accepting (dare I say embracing?) yours!When people say “you’re gorgeous”, believe them. I tend not to, and it’s a cryin’ shame. When people genuinely compliment you, it’s because they really see it. Try to not dismiss their perspective as wrong and assume that you know better. They see all of you. We see our flaws. Believe them.“Arm flab is embarrassing.” No its not, go fuck yourself. No, not you. The people who tell us that, silly.You’re not stunning despite your body. You’re stunning because of your body. There is a distinct difference. I grew up in a culture that would deem “unattractive” women as “special spirits”. A degrading categorization that implied that the only thing worthwhile was whatever was inside. Well, yeah. We are all much much more than our bodies, but our bodies are a beautiful part of us too. Beauty comes from the inside AND the outside.  I am of the firm belief that every person is beautiful, and so this leaves the inside to be the part that is the most telling when it comes to true “beauty”.A guy can pick you up off your feet, and it won’t break his back.  “Wait, whaaaaaa Jes? You’re full of shit.” Nope. This just happened to me for the first time in… six years? I’m considerably heavier than I was 6 years ago (like… 70 pounds heavier) and so when I ran up to my friend Eric for a hug and he picked me up with my heels in the air… it left me breathless. I had forgotten that it was possible; I had accepted a life void of being lifted. So exhilarating. Eric didn’t suffer any injuries and walked away unscathed.You don’t need to exercise every day in order to feel better about yourself. Many believe that someone who’s fat needs to exercise as much as possible in order to prove that they’re committed to becoming “less fat”. As if accepting one’s body as is would be a sin, and that’s just silly. Yes, exercising has wonderful physical and mental benefits, but you don’t owe it to anyone else to make an effort to change your body unless you wanna. You do not have to alter yourself to be okay. Period.You’re allowed to fall in love with yourself. I promise. This will be the scariest thing you will ever do, and that’s okay. It will also be the most amazing (albeit super gradual) experience you will ever have. It doesn’t make you narcissistic. It doesn’t make you vain. It is liberating in every form of the word.

It’s also okay to have days where you don’t love yourself. Read this. No really. Read it. And then realize that we’ve grown up learning and internalizing that we are not okay our entire life. For me, that’s 26 years of self-hate indoctrination and brainwashing.  It’s going to take a lot longer than you think to reverse this thinking, and it’s definitely not going to happen overnight. Allow yourself to have “weak” days. Cry, mourn, sob, yell, throw things. Whichever. Then get up, brush yourself off, give the media the finger, and move forward because you’re a warrior.Everyone’s boobs are uneven. If you have a lot of boobs, they might be way uneven.  Don’t stress. This is totally normal.There are people who prefer large ladies. And I mean all sizes of large. I thought that my best bet in life was to find a partner who accepted my fat. Pause. Give me a minute to hang my head and shake it at myself. Not only are there people who adore “thick” women, but a LOT of them who prefer it. This eventually ends up in an interesting territory which Marianne talks about here, but the point that I’m trying to make goes back to the “despite vs because of” argument. Here is what you need to know: you do NOT need to settle for a lover who is “okay” with your body. You have the right (and millions of opportunities) to find someone who is infatuated with your body. You deserve to be worshiped, woman!Fat chicks bang hot guys… ALL. THE. TIME.I know that hot is relative and all inclusive depending on who you chat with, but for these purposes, lets talk about the “universally attractive” kind of hot. Y’know, the kind fat chicks don’t deserve? We want to pretend that we don’t know what I’m talking about, but lets be real; we totally do. The fact that “fat chicks bang ‘hot’ guys” was one of the most powerful realizations I’ve had thus far. In line with the above paragraph, I knew that there would be someone that would find me attractive but the pool would be small (because of my body) and potentially full of guys I didn’t personally find sexy. So I would have to settle for anyone that would take me. After all, how could a conventionally gorgeous man (tall and with tattoos of course) like fat chicks?  Weh-he-hell, let me tell you somethin’: through various sites, events, parties, and corner store meetings, I found myself with over a hundred men who were champing at the bit to get with this. I was the one who had to sift through and pick the hottest of the hot. Ladies, over a hundred. “Girls” showed what society thinks about that when Hannah’s character has a weekend romance with an attractive and wealthy doctor. People flipped their shit. “Patrick Wilson is so hot he would never do Lena Dunham” was the most eye catching. Wilson’s wife responded to that rubbish here, but the tweet speaks volumes about what the majority of people think unconventional women deserve. Jesus christ, it’s annoying. I won’t spill the details of my bedroom coming and goings, but lets just say this: the hottest guys in Tucson and I get along just fine. I would recommend reading Emily’s article on xoJane for a better explanation of what I’m struggling to say. Know this: the myth that “atypical” bodies can’t be paired with “typically attractive” bodies is false. Women need to know that all bodies can be paired with all bodies.Riding during sex will NOT collapse his insides. Just trust me on this one, what you fear is totally false. Here’s a great article that changed my life.Wearing whatever you want is a political statement. Join the revolution. Throw style rules out the window. Wear the tutu. Wear the horizontal stripes. Wear the turquoise skinny jeans. Wear the see-through blouse. Wear the bikini. Wear the sweat pants. Wear the shirt that says “Does this shirt make me look fat?”. Wear whatever it is that makes you happy. This is your life.You are fucking beautiful. I’m saying this with a straight face and seriously meaningful look where I maintain eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time. I know you don’t feel like you fit into the category of gorgeous that our world creates. I know that its hard. I know that its a daily battle. But fuck their fascist beauty standards. The second you stop looking for a skinny model in your mirror and start looking at YOU… is the second you will start to appreciate what you are. Stop looking for flaws. Stop looking for differences. You are perfect. You are more than enough. You are the best thing that has ever happened to you. And you are fucking beautiful.Say it with me.

I’m actively sobbing.

Reblogging again because of awesomeness.

I can’t even handle this right now.

True. All of it. (And hi, I’m working on being more accepting of my upper arms, because I want to wear sleeveless things this summer.)

gothiccharmschool:

losertakesall:

ilikeprettyclothes:

fromcarouseltohair:

allyssumdays:

Everyone has rolls when they bend over. Everyone. Lets just get this out of the way right off the bat. In the last few months, I’ve had over 30 women ranging from rail thin to extra large naked in my bed and I would routinely ask them to hug their knees. You won’t believe this… ALL OF THEM HAD TUMMY ROLLS. Not one was exempt. Even my super fabulous professional model 6 foot tall and some amazing Katie had rolls. The stomach pictures turned into some of my favorite images from the project… so quit thinking they’re bad, and try accepting (dare I say embracing?) yours!

When people say “you’re gorgeous”, believe them. I tend not to, and it’s a cryin’ shame. When people genuinely compliment you, it’s because they really see it. Try to not dismiss their perspective as wrong and assume that you know better. They see all of you. We see our flaws. Believe them.

“Arm flab is embarrassing.” No its not, go fuck yourself. No, not you. The people who tell us that, silly.

You’re not stunning despite your body. You’re stunning because of your body. There is a distinct difference. I grew up in a culture that would deem “unattractive” women as “special spirits”. A degrading categorization that implied that the only thing worthwhile was whatever was inside. Well, yeah. We are all much much more than our bodies, but our bodies are a beautiful part of us too. Beauty comes from the inside AND the outside.  I am of the firm belief that every person is beautiful, and so this leaves the inside to be the part that is the most telling when it comes to true “beauty”.

A guy can pick you up off your feet, and it won’t break his back.  “Wait, whaaaaaa Jes? You’re full of shit.” Nope. This just happened to me for the first time in… six years? I’m considerably heavier than I was 6 years ago (like… 70 pounds heavier) and so when I ran up to my friend Eric for a hug and he picked me up with my heels in the air… it left me breathless. I had forgotten that it was possible; I had accepted a life void of being lifted. So exhilarating. Eric didn’t suffer any injuries and walked away unscathed.

You don’t need to exercise every day in order to feel better about yourself. Many believe that someone who’s fat needs to exercise as much as possible in order to prove that they’re committed to becoming “less fat”. As if accepting one’s body as is would be a sin, and that’s just silly. Yes, exercising has wonderful physical and mental benefits, but you don’t owe it to anyone else to make an effort to change your body unless you wanna. You do not have to alter yourself to be okay. Period.

You’re allowed to fall in love with yourself. I promise. This will be the scariest thing you will ever do, and that’s okay. It will also be the most amazing (albeit super gradual) experience you will ever have. It doesn’t make you narcissistic. It doesn’t make you vain. It is liberating in every form of the word.

image


It’s also okay to have days where you don’t love yourself. Read this. No really. Read it. And then realize that we’ve grown up learning and internalizing that we are not okay our entire life. For me, that’s 26 years of self-hate indoctrination and brainwashing.  It’s going to take a lot longer than you think to reverse this thinking, and it’s definitely not going to happen overnight. Allow yourself to have “weak” days. Cry, mourn, sob, yell, throw things. Whichever. Then get up, brush yourself off, give the media the finger, and move forward because you’re a warrior.

Everyone’s boobs are uneven. If you have a lot of boobs, they might be way uneven.  Don’t stress. This is totally normal.

There are people who prefer large ladies. And I mean all sizes of large. I thought that my best bet in life was to find a partner who accepted my fat. Pause. Give me a minute to hang my head and shake it at myself. Not only are there people who adore “thick” women, but a LOT of them who prefer it. This eventually ends up in an interesting territory which Marianne talks about here, but the point that I’m trying to make goes back to the “despite vs because of” argument. Here is what you need to know: you do NOT need to settle for a lover who is “okay” with your body. You have the right (and millions of opportunities) to find someone who is infatuated with your body. You deserve to be worshiped, woman!

Fat chicks bang hot guys… ALL. THE. TIME.I know that hot is relative and all inclusive depending on who you chat with, but for these purposes, lets talk about the “universally attractive” kind of hot. Y’know, the kind fat chicks don’t deserve? We want to pretend that we don’t know what I’m talking about, but lets be real; we totally do. The fact that “fat chicks bang ‘hot’ guys” was one of the most powerful realizations I’ve had thus far. In line with the above paragraph, I knew that there would be someone that would find me attractive but the pool would be small (because of my body) and potentially full of guys I didn’t personally find sexy. So I would have to settle for anyone that would take me. After all, how could a conventionally gorgeous man (tall and with tattoos of course) like fat chicks?  Weh-he-hell, let me tell you somethin’: through various sites, events, parties, and corner store meetings, I found myself with over a hundred men who were champing at the bit to get with this. I was the one who had to sift through and pick the hottest of the hot. Ladies, over a hundred. “Girls” showed what society thinks about that when Hannah’s character has a weekend romance with an attractive and wealthy doctor. People flipped their shit. “Patrick Wilson is so hot he would never do Lena Dunham” was the most eye catching. Wilson’s wife responded to that rubbish here, but the tweet speaks volumes about what the majority of people think unconventional women deserve. Jesus christ, it’s annoying. I won’t spill the details of my bedroom coming and goings, but lets just say this: the hottest guys in Tucson and I get along just fine. I would recommend reading Emily’s article on xoJane for a better explanation of what I’m struggling to say. Know this: the myth that “atypical” bodies can’t be paired with “typically attractive” bodies is false. Women need to know that all bodies can be paired with all bodies.

Riding during sex will NOT collapse his insides. Just trust me on this one, what you fear is totally false. Here’s a great article that changed my life.

Wearing whatever you want is a political statement. Join the revolution. Throw style rules out the window. Wear the tutu. Wear the horizontal stripes. Wear the turquoise skinny jeans. Wear the see-through blouse. Wear the bikini. Wear the sweat pants. Wear the shirt that says “Does this shirt make me look fat?”. Wear whatever it is that makes you happy. This is your life.

You are fucking beautiful. I’m saying this with a straight face and seriously meaningful look where I maintain eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time. I know you don’t feel like you fit into the category of gorgeous that our world creates. I know that its hard. I know that its a daily battle. But fuck their fascist beauty standards. The second you stop looking for a skinny model in your mirror and start looking at YOU… is the second you will start to appreciate what you are. Stop looking for flaws. Stop looking for differences. You are perfect. You are more than enough. You are the best thing that has ever happened to you. And you are fucking beautiful.

Say it with me.

I’m actively sobbing.

Reblogging again because of awesomeness.

I can’t even handle this right now.

True. All of it. (And hi, I’m working on being more accepting of my upper arms, because I want to wear sleeveless things this summer.)

(via sunandstrength)

I let it go. It’s like swimming against the current. It exhausts you. After a while, whoever you are, you just have to let go, and the river brings you home.

Joanne Harris, Five Quarters of the Orange (via wordsnquotes)

(via liquid-diamonds-flowing)

endangeredbodiesnyc:

Source

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.

Ernest Hemingway, Men Without Women (via psych-facts)

(via tinytruant)

tinytruant:

REMINDER not everyone you know and love knows about self care or how they it’s done. Try to teach them.

just-another-blogging-recoverer:

THE IMPORTANCE OF SCHEDULES

I know I’ve talked briefly about this before, but I thought it deserved a longer post.

WHY?

[THE BENEFITS]

  • gives your time structure
  • no time to lay around & worry, sulk or obsess!
  • helps to limit problem sleeping
  • helps you balance your life activities
  • you won’t be double booked!
  • makes sure you have self-care time
  • helps you figure out priorities
  • gets your studying & classes on track!

Basically, there are dozens of reasons why schedules can be good. It all depends on your issues, or why you want to start.

For me, I was napping all the time and sleeping my life away. Now I only take about one short nap a week, when I really need it. 

If you’re having problems in school, schedules can help you make and stick to a study schedule. If you’re always late and double booking yourself, schedules can help. If you feel you have too much going on in life and you can’t figure out your priorities, schedules can help. If you feel like you have nothing going on and life is pointless, schedules can help!

HOW?

[THE PROCESS]

  1. Set up your medium - Use a piece of paper, grid paper, a preprinted calendar or planner, an Excel spreadsheet, Google Docs—anything. Whatever works for you. Block out days of the week, morning/afternoon/night, hours—be as exact or as approximate as you want. Again, just make sure it makes sense to you.
  2. Block out your have-tos and priorities - Things like sleep, family dinners, work schedules, school, classes, concerts, etc. These are the non-negotiables. 
  3. Determine your categories - What areas do you need to balance? School, home and job? Stressful, peaceful, social? I have two sets: High, medium and low priority, and achievement, connection to others, enjoyment, and self-care. These can be anything, as long as they make sense to you.
  4. Find balance -  Once you’ve figured out what in your life you need to balance, it’s time to balance it. Mark your have-tos and priorities in the category(s) they fit into. I like to do this by color-coding, because I’m a visual person. You can easily use little letters, shapes/symbols, different fonts. (Again, whatever makes sense!) Now look at your schedule. Do you have an overabundance of one thing? Is your schedule overwhelmed by the “stressful” category? Do you have nothing but family and school obligations, and no social engagements?
  5. Fill it in! - Fill in your schedule based on your answers from #4. If you find you have lots of stressful activities, schedule in lots of relaxation between them or in the evenings. Balance out school and family with social engagements and fun. 

Ta-da! You now have the bare bones of a schedule! Play with it until it meets your needs, and you will never regret it!

****

BUT…

[TROUBLESHOOTING]

What medium is right for me?

Look at your life. Are you on the go? Do something that you can a) carry with you or b) access from your mobile phone. If you’re tech-savvy, find an app or a program that syncs to all your devices. If you prefer the feel of paper, use grid paper or a planner.

Experiment til something feels right, works and is convenient!

In my opinion, the best of both worlds is to create the schedule in Excel and then print it out. It gives you a remarkable amount of control—my current schedule is the 3rd picture.

The template I use is here, if you want to give it a test run. (I do alter it a bit)

My schedule is full after step 2.

Whoops! Looks like you’ve got too much goin’ on there. Check out this page for some tips.

I can’t figure out categories.

What do you need to balance? Do you find yourself always forgetting homework for one class and studying all night for another? Maybe classes are one set of categories.

You should have between two and six categories, and perhaps multiple sets. But too many categories will confuse you and derail your schedule!

Here are some sample categories:

  • Achievement/connection to others/enjoyment/self-care
  • Family/school/social/personal
  • High priority/medium priority/low priority
  • High stress/low stress/relaxation
  • Short-term goal work/long-term goal work/enjoyment

How do I achieve balance?

Recognize the opposing “pulls” of your categories, and use them to balance each other out. For example, relaxation “opposes” high stress.

If you color-code your schedule, the colors should reflect a balance. You shouldn’t have all high-stress or all relaxation. It’s more of a science than an art. Just go with your gut and play around a bit. You’ll get the hang of it.

What do I fill in?

Anything!

I tend to fill in “small” things. That is, I’ll fill in television time, crochet time, painting time, and grocery shopping trips. Things I want to do or need to get done eventually.

If you find your schedule has a deficit of things to do, check out my 365 Things post. Do something fun off it. Or try a new hobby. Or call up a friend!

I hate schedules, I prefer spontaneity.

Here’s the thing: you can have a schedule and still be spontaneous. I know, I know, that’s just crazy!

The thing is, schedules help you with priorities and time life management. A schedule can help you make sure that you don’t spend all your time being spontaneous and miss a huge book report, or that you don’t hop on a bus to Chicago the same weekend as your family reunion. It can make sure you’re heading towards your long-term goals and taking care of yourself while still having time to go crazy and unplanned.

What do you do if you want to have a “spontaneous” schedule?

  • When you go to “fill it in”, don’t get specific. Instead of saying “see a movie with Brittany”, you can say “hang out with friends”.
  • Leave your categories as your activities. That is, you know you’ll be doing something enjoyment-related—you just don’t know what yet!
  • You still need to define some things. But you were never going to be spontaneous about studying for that test, were you?

That’s all for now, folks. Contact me about other schedule questions or comments.

(via sebselfcare)

youarefuckingmajestic:

IF YOUR BODY IS SORE OR TIRED THEN LET IT REST, DON’T PUSH YOURSELF. YOU ARE A SUPER IMPORTANT AND SPECIAL LIL CUPCAKE AND YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE OKAY.

(via sunandstrength)